In the good old days of the golden oldies

In the good old days of the golden oldies, most records were sold on the Decca label. Henry Busse had a hot hit titled, "Hot Lips." A lady heard the record on the radio and decided that she just had to have it. She looked up the number for the record shop and called them. Unfortunately, she misdialed and, instead of reaching the record store, she got "Hank's Auto Body." She said, "Do you have 'Hot Lips' on a ten-inch Decca?" Hank, who had answered the phone himself, said, "Well, uh, ma'am, no, but I do have hot nuts under a ten-inch pecker!" A slight pause. The lady said, "Is that a record?" "I don't know, ma'am, but it's a damned good average."

There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemo

There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. Since it was quite hot and he was thirsty, he decided to stop.Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass.Well, he thought that it was a very small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all he could drink, he decided to get some anyway.He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up."The kid replied, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents."To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime.""It is," the little boy